Though many Americans are worried about the security of America's electoral processes our elections are and always have been completely secure and reliable.

While standing in line for seven hours waiting to vote, you may start to think, "I wonder if any of the men in line are actually voting for Harris?" Here is a handy guide for how to spot one of the rarest of all creatures, a male Kamala voter:

ROCKFORD, MI — Several sources have come forward to accuse local man Bryce Harrison of stolen valor after the 54-year-old appeared in public wearing an "I Voted" sticker that he had purchased on Amazon.

PHILADELPHIA — As Trump began to take the lead in Pennsylvania exit polls, state officials announced they had accidentally misplaced all of their voting machines.

MADISON, WI — A local white male has made the courageous decision to vote for Kamala to preserve his daughter's right to murder his grandchildren.

U.S. — Just in time for Election Day, officials unveiled a brand-new ballot box for Libertarians to use which, they say, will improve the efficiency of the counting process.

USA — Early exit polls in the 2024 presidential election show surprise write-in candidate Peanut the Squirrel with a commanding lead over the other two leading candidates.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans continue to wait in line to cast their votes today, several prominent Democrats have stepped forward to remind the country that an election winner may not be declared until 110% of the vote is done being counted.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President Kamala Harris was heard questioning the voting process early Tuesday, reportedly confused as to why she needs to get any votes to be elected president.

TULSA, OK — According to sources, local colorblind man Jim Cone has no idea who is winning the presidential race from looking at the electoral map.

WASHINGTON D.C. — Business owners around Washington D.C. have begun preparing for an overwhelming outpouring from the ‘Party Of Joy' by decorating their storefronts with highly durable yet cost-efficient plywood.

U.S. — A new poll from NBC News shows definitively that Trump will win the 2024 presidential election unless Harris wins.

U.S. — On the eve of a hotly contested presidential election, top Democrats warned the American people that if Trump is elected, it would likely be the end of bureaucracy as we know it.

U.S. — What was expected to be a close Presidential election is now projected to be a 50-state landslide for Trump after the former president showed up to a rally in a squirrel costume.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the electoral clock ticking down, the Harris campaign called President Joe Biden to ask him to please, please head to Antarctica.

GLENDALE, AZ — In a horrific call for violence, former President Donald Trump stated that politicians should stop sending kids to war.

Trump is on the verge of seizing power once again and becoming Hitler a second time. He will be banning all the things that our forefathers fought for: life, liberty, and the right to unlimited abortions.

ROGERS, AR — Nearing the end of what has been a whirlwind election season, one candidate in a race won over what could potentially be the deciding vote, as a 453rd election mailer changed a local man's mind.

LOS ANGELES, CA — In yet another inspiring act of heroic bravery, the Avengers assembled in a Zoom call to save the world by endorsing their preferred candidate Thanos.