NEW YORK, NY — The 2024 Major League Baseball season ended in historic fashion, as the New York Yankees successfully defeated the New York Yankees in the World Series.

KANSAS CITY, KS — Referees at a recent Chiefs game were reportedly less than thrilled to find that an NFL football game kept interrupting their penalty calls.

NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Satan was reportedly unsure which of his favorite baseball teams he should root for to win the 2024 World Series: the Los Angeles Dodgers or the New York Yankees.

LOS ANGELES, CA — History was made on the basketball court last night when fans witnessed a once-in-a-lifetime moment as LeBron James and his son Bronny executed the NBA's first perfectly synchronized father-son flop.

U.S. — Churches and other faith-based organizations across the country reported a sudden rise in people questioning their deeply held beliefs after the New York Yankees and Los Angeles Dodgers advanced to the World Series.

LOS ANGELES, CA — Michael Frampton recently found himself in quite a dilemma: according to friends and family, the 36-year-old is currently unsure if he likes baseball or is just a huge fan of advanced statistics.

SEATTLE, WA — A historic milestone was reached in the sport of hockey last night, and despite losing the first game of the season, the first female NHL coach said she was happy to see her team score so many touchdowns.

COOPERSTOWN, NY — The baseball world was rocked by controversy as the ban on famed two-way baseball legend Bugs Bunny entering the Baseball Hall of Fame over allegations of performance-enhancing carrot use was once again upheld.

U.S. — Athletic contests aren't just for athletes anymore. There's a fun new sport sweeping the nation, and it's perfect for just about anyone who's ever gotten winded walking up a single flight of stairs.

NEW YORK, NY — In yet another stunning but controversial prediction, host of CNBC's Mad Money, Jim Cramer boldly declared that the Chicago White Sox are his insider pick to win the 2024 World Series.

U.S. — In a move designed to save time and lessen the stress on broadcasters' voices during games, the NFL revealed that announcers will now only mention when there's not a flag on the play.

U.S. — What has been a rollercoaster of a season continued to generate controversy, as WNBA players accused fans across the country of yelling ugly racial slurs at them such as "Go Caitlin!" and other horrifying epithets showing support for rookie phenom Caitlin Clark.

The Oakland Athletics are moving to Las Vegas. With such a big move come even bigger changes.

CHICAGO, IL — In what experts described as the final insult during the last week of what has been a dreadful season, the Chicago White Sox were defeated by the First Baptist Church softball team by a score of 7-2.

KANSAS CITY, MO — Despite statements from the league denying showing any partiality to the Kansas City Chiefs, reports surfaced this week that NFL referees had followed quarterback Patrick Mahomes to his house, prepared a warm glass of milk, tucked him into bed, read him a bedtime story, and gave him a little kiss before he fell asleep.

CHICAGO, IL — A local sports fan was relieved to finally reach the end of a miserable baseball season and expressed gladness that the White Sox would finally be finished playing before coming to the sudden and unpleasant realization that Bears season had just begun.

U.S. — A tearful baseball fan reportedly rent his garments and cried out to Heavens while covered in dust and ashes, anguishedly asking God why Shohei Ohtani has to play for the Los Angeles Dodgers.